“Will We Stand Up and Stop Bullying?”

Over the course of his career, Ron Slaby has served as a professor, researcher, curriculum developer, and violence prevention educator.

A transformative incident in graduate school set him on his path.

“I was a student at the University of Wisconsin during the anti-Vietnam War protests. I was working on my dissertation just one-half block away from where an enormous bomb exploded, completely decimating Sterling Hall and its Army Math Research Center,” Slaby recalls. “A young man working on his dissertation—just as I was—died in that bombing.”

He continues, “Leading up to the bombing, the campus and its students were under siege by armed National Guardsmen and police in gas masks who threw tear gas at virtually any student protest. As I stumbled my way through tear gas to the discussion section I was teaching, I said to myself, ‘No matter what topic is scheduled, today we’ll discuss the issue of violence and how to prevent it.’”

Besides traveling internationally to promote youth violence prevention, Slaby also provides technical assistance to school districts and communities throughout the United States to enhance the health and safety of students through EDC’s federally funded National Center for Mental Health Promotion and Youth Violence Prevention.

“Bullying can be prevented,” says EDC’s Ron Slaby, an international leader in youth violence prevention. Slaby co-developed the Eyes on Bullying program, funded by the IBM Global Work/Life Fund. He also serves as an expert advisor to the Anti-Bullying Campaign, recently launched by the Turner Broadcasting System’s Cartoon Network and CNN Worldwide.

Why do children bully?

Bullying is learned—by observing others who bully, by viewing and interacting with violent media, or by directly experiencing bullying. Children who bully have learned to hurt others who are vulnerable, and they do so intentionally and repeatedly. They carefully select and control their victims, often making them think they only have two options: challenge the bully and get hurt or accept the abuse and prove you’re a loser.

How do bullied children respond?

When children who are bullied come to believe they have only two options—counterattack or submit—they feel helpless, frightened, and trapped. Many withdraw and become depressed. When bullying has been allowed to escalate with no help in sight, we have seen far too many cases of victims either taking revenge through school shootings or taking their own lives.

Bullying is based on an imbalance of power. But when bullied children get help and come to realize that they do have assertive and nonviolent ways to deal with bullying—and when bystanders speak out against bullying to support a victim—the power dynamic changes, and bullying is no longer viable.

What role do peer and adult bystanders play?

In some sense, we are all bystanders to bullying—either directly or indirectly—with opportunities to help stop or prevent it. Too often, direct bystanders contribute to bullying by passively accepting it, actively encouraging it, or joining in. Others overlook warning signs, fail to take reports of bullying seriously, or perpetuate the cycle of violence by telling the victim to “beat up the bully.” Yet, bystanders can and often do play a critical role.

Ever since we first introduced the concept of the bystander into the field of bullying prevention 21 years ago, the appreciation of the importance of bystanders has continued to grow. Bullying prevention programs, such as our Eyes on Bullying and our Aggressors, Victims, and Bystanders programs, provide effective activities and strategies that challenge adults and children to recognize and respond to bullying in its earliest and most preventable phases. Participants learn and practice effective ways to stand up, speak out, and support others from being bullied.

What role do state anti-bullying laws play?

The anti-bullying legislation that has been passed in 42 states—most recently in Massachusetts—is raising important questions about the roles and responsibilities of adults. School officials everywhere are becoming more concerned with their new responsibilities, as well as the liabilities they may face if they don’t act effectively to prevent bullying in their schools. Mandating bullying prevention programs and policies in schools is a good start. Every school must be prepared to guarantee the full safety, dignity, and well-being of each and every student.

How can we change the culture of bullying in our society?

Ultimately, we must ask ourselves, as a society, will we stand up and stop bullying? Will we prepare ourselves and our children to support, protect, and empower those who are vulnerable? The way we answer these questions will determine whether we change the culture.